..stupid ideals..

Something very odd happened today

Early this morning, my mom was asleep in her bed. She dreamt of a man with a dark complexion and pierced eyebrow. She dreamt she was asleep in bed with my father when this dark complected man appeared and pulled the pillow from under her head. She awoke startled in time to see the man place the pillow over her face. He began smothering her. She gasped for air, flailing her arms as she tried to scream. She tried to hit my father to wake him up. But he wouldn't. She was weeping as the dark complected man continued to smother her.

The next thing my mom knew, my father was shaking her to wake her. He could see she was sobbing, so he asked if she had a nightmare. He got her a glass of water, and she proceeded to tell him every last detail.

Early this evening, while I was at work, my sisters visited my parents. They planned to wait for me to get my dinner break so we could all go out for dinner. My dad showered while my mom and my sisters sat on the chairs on the front porch. They watched the passing cars, discussed the wedding and gossiped about the neighbors walking down the sidewalk.

At first, they didn't notice the black Cherokee that kept passing the house.

After the fourth or fifth time it passed, the Jeep pulled up to the curb. A young man with a dark complexion, pierced eyebrow and a tatoo up his right calf got out and called from the edge of the driveway, "Mrs. Perez, may I speak with you?" My sisters both asked who the young man was, but my mom was quiet. She just nodded, stepped off the porch and met him at the edge of the driveway.

My sisters didn't recognize him, but had the distinct feeling they knew who he was... At the same time, they both came to same conclusion.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry, Mrs. Perez. For years I've hated you and your family. Last night my girlfriend and I were talking about things. I told her what happened back then and how much hate I was harboring. She told me that it wasn't good, and she convinced me to come over and make peace."

My sisters watched and speculated what the conversation was about from the porch when my father came out. "What's going on?" he asked. My sisters told him what little they knew and he went over to the edge of the driveway. The young man backed off a little and looked at my father with a slight sneer.

"I just needed to talk to her."

He gave my mother a small regard and apologized again and was gone.

It must have been around 1987 when my mother found out that the woman my father had an affair with years prior was harrassing him at work. She claimed that my dad fathered her son Homer. She told him that he was responsible for him and he owed them child support and other financial aid. She began showing up at the firestation on my father's duty days and at the house when he was off.

I was young, but I clearly remember those days. A judge issued a paternity test, and I remember while we were awaiting the results I asked my mom, "If Homer is my brother, will I have to share my Nintendo with him?" The results came back negative. My father was.. is not Homer's father. The woman left my family alone, and the whole thing seemed to disappear. It was never really discussed after that.

A couple of years ago, my parents and I were at a restaurant having dinner. One of the servers offered us some bread. It was odd, the guy was about my age but my dad seemed to know him. He got up and shook his hand. After he left, my mom explained to me who it was. On occasion, we'll see him around town. My father always greets him, but his response is always hesitant.

Homer was never told the results of the paternity test. His mother let him grow up thinking my father had abandoned him. A month ago, my father saw him and his mother at the grocery store. He confronted my father, asking him why he didn't love him... why he just threw him away. My father explained that he is not his son, but if he was, he would have taken custody and raised him in our house.

"Well, who's my father then?" He asked his mother. She just shrugged. "... You're father's dead ..."

In one minute, everything Homer thought to be true was turned upside down. Since then, he has been feeling guilty about the ill-will he had toward my family... more than anything he felt bad for wishing the worst upon my mother... the wife who was given the love, the support and the father for her children. The guilt and a desire to make amends brought him to my parents' house this evening.

A very odd thing, indeed.