Saturday, April 12, 2003
I don't know if I screwed up or if maybe I made the right decision... Anyway, by now, my mom has read the letter. I've finished work, checked both my e-mail accounts and read up on some interesting sites based on acceptance.
I plan to go to my mom's now. But I have no idea what's going to happen.
I plan to go to my mom's now. But I have no idea what's going to happen.
Mikey was being stupid at 11:34 PM ::
Not only was it embaressing for me, but it destroyed Kat's image of me. It's been hard for her to accept, though I thought she'd be the easiest to tell. I didn't think she would find out this way. And I know it hurt her beyond words to find out this way rather than from my voice. The fact that she would have been the first I would tell offers no consolation. I should have told them years ago, but I didn't. I'm sorry. But they have no clue how difficult it is.
Would they have reacted differently 5 years ago, 2 years ago or 1 year ago? Katherine says no, she wouldn't have... But by now, they would be past it and learning to accept it. Coulda, shoulda, woulda ... right?
Now it is imperative that I tell my parents. By the way my sisters have been acting and a mother's insight to her son, they know something is going on. This is the first conclusion my mother drew, and Katherine all but confirmed it out loud.
I'm sorry that they hurt and that they found out the way they did. But I am not sorry that now know. If they can't deal with it, then it's their problem. I'm going to do everything I can to help them through it. But if they try to change me into something I'm not... well, that's not going to happen.
Would they have reacted differently 5 years ago, 2 years ago or 1 year ago? Katherine says no, she wouldn't have... But by now, they would be past it and learning to accept it. Coulda, shoulda, woulda ... right?
Now it is imperative that I tell my parents. By the way my sisters have been acting and a mother's insight to her son, they know something is going on. This is the first conclusion my mother drew, and Katherine all but confirmed it out loud.
I'm sorry that they hurt and that they found out the way they did. But I am not sorry that now know. If they can't deal with it, then it's their problem. I'm going to do everything I can to help them through it. But if they try to change me into something I'm not... well, that's not going to happen.
Mikey was being stupid at 5:53 PM ::
She found out in probably the worst way possible. So, no, I don't blame her for the way she reacted. I finished work at around 2 a.m. But with the annual springing forward, 3 o'clock came too soon. I went out to the parking lot to find my car had a flat tire. The tire had just been fixed a week before, and since they used the power wrench, the lugnuts were pretty tight. It was late, I was tired. Even the courier who was loading his truck with the morning newspapers couldn't budge that tire.
The night was humid and hot... I was sweating and covered in road grime, so I gave up and called home.
"Kat, can you come pick me up at work? I have a flat."
"Fine."
She arrived shortly... I grabbed Sunday's paper and hopped into the car. I began explaining the ordeal of the flat tire, but I noticed she was quiet and dismal. She took a right at the fork. When I asked where we were going, she kept quiet and pulled into a Circle K. She told me to get down and get her a pack of cigarettes. I've been trying to get her to quit... She hadn't smoked for years and only recently had she started up again.
I used my last five dollar bill to buy her cigarettes, got back into the car and we pulled out of the parking lot.
"Why do you need cigarettes?"
"Because they make me feel real."
I stifled a laugh because I could tell she was serious.
When we got home, I unlocked the door to hear the cat meowing excitedly.
"Reoowwrrr Reoowwrrrr..."
"What's the matter, Lily?"
I stepped into the living room and stopped... you might say in shock and awe. Stupid.
There was glass everywhere. shattered pieces of picture frames. Katherine came in just behind me, walked right past and over the glass.
"What's going on?!"
"Come here."
I followed her into the hall. She went into the restroom, grabbed the trash bin and emptied it onto the floor. She threw down the can and cried, "What the fuck is this?"
The night was humid and hot... I was sweating and covered in road grime, so I gave up and called home.
"Kat, can you come pick me up at work? I have a flat."
"Fine."
She arrived shortly... I grabbed Sunday's paper and hopped into the car. I began explaining the ordeal of the flat tire, but I noticed she was quiet and dismal. She took a right at the fork. When I asked where we were going, she kept quiet and pulled into a Circle K. She told me to get down and get her a pack of cigarettes. I've been trying to get her to quit... She hadn't smoked for years and only recently had she started up again.
I used my last five dollar bill to buy her cigarettes, got back into the car and we pulled out of the parking lot.
"Why do you need cigarettes?"
"Because they make me feel real."
I stifled a laugh because I could tell she was serious.
When we got home, I unlocked the door to hear the cat meowing excitedly.
"Reoowwrrr Reoowwrrrr..."
"What's the matter, Lily?"
I stepped into the living room and stopped... you might say in shock and awe. Stupid.
There was glass everywhere. shattered pieces of picture frames. Katherine came in just behind me, walked right past and over the glass.
"What's going on?!"
"Come here."
I followed her into the hall. She went into the restroom, grabbed the trash bin and emptied it onto the floor. She threw down the can and cried, "What the fuck is this?"
Mikey was being stupid at 5:39 PM ::
The picture below is of a local theatre that was being used as a church for years. This town has quite a few quaint buildings that could really look beautiful if given some TLC. This theatre may be in bad shape, but the box-office and marquee are still in tact. The lobby looks small, but from the front windows, you can see that the stairs are in good shape and were used pretty often. I'm guessing that the balcony is in decent condition then, as well. My mom has had this lifelong dream of buying old buildings and restoring them, and I share that dream to some extent...
Mostly, I just want to get the hell out of this town.
Mostly, I just want to get the hell out of this town.
Mikey was being stupid at 5:20 PM ::
Friday, April 11, 2003
Oh yeah, I was wondering if anyone would be kind enough to buy this building for me...
Mikey was being stupid at 11:12 PM ::
Here it is, 10:45 pm and I've got the majority of my work done for the evening. If my co-workers were at all considerate, they'd turn in their webtext asap... After all, it is Friday night and maybe I have something planned. Alas, I am so used to staying here at work until 3 am on Friday evenings that I haven't made Friday night plans in a long time.
So, the hunt for greener pastures has led me to a job listing in Fort Worth. That's pretty good, but even though I've been longing for a first shift job for a while now, I wonder if it will require me to wear a tie. And I really won't be uncomfortable with that, but it may mean that I will have to shave daily. That's something my skin will not tolerate. I can't even shave every four days... Right now my skin is on fire.
I'll post more later, I got work to do. :P
So, the hunt for greener pastures has led me to a job listing in Fort Worth. That's pretty good, but even though I've been longing for a first shift job for a while now, I wonder if it will require me to wear a tie. And I really won't be uncomfortable with that, but it may mean that I will have to shave daily. That's something my skin will not tolerate. I can't even shave every four days... Right now my skin is on fire.
I'll post more later, I got work to do. :P
Mikey was being stupid at 10:58 PM ::
Sunday, April 06, 2003
Well, Dave was down for nearly two weeks... and every minute he was here was... well, it was just freakin' amazing! Dave is one of my absolute best friends, but since he lives so far away, it is rare that we get to hang out together. We've been friends for the past five years, but the events throughout this past year are what really sealed our friendship. Kind of an odd couple... Dave's really hyper and an all-around goof, and I'm passive and an all-around geek.
We went to the beach.. not as much as I would have liked... and we attempted to go to the zoo, but it was closed when we got there. So, Chuck E. Cheese's sufficed for the day. Even though we didn't get to do too much considering he was here for a lot longer than last time, every minute was still cherished. Even watching The Fantastic Adventures of Unico together was time well spent.
Oh yeah, and while he was here, Dave managed to score some of this:
He's been gone only a matter of 10 hours and I already miss him like hell. But eventually, he's gonna move down, so that's something to look forward to.
Among the things we DID get to do while he was here:
1) Hit the beach at 5 am with no one around but the twinkling stars, rogue planets and the sun rising on the waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
2) Sketch some drawings at the local IHOP at 4 am.
3) Dually "ruin" The Fantastic Adventures of Unico and The Crow: Salvation for each other.
4) Shave his head bald and take some disgusting but amusing pics of his scalp and the plunger.
5) Burrow through the pipes of the play area at Chuck E. Cheese's.
6) Delete the account of an unhappy forum member of the TMNT site.
7) Barbecue with my sisters and my future-brother-in-law.
8) Attempt to get a local curandera to help bring some clarity to Dave's life.
9) Watch the bats fly over the black waters of Lake Harlingen rippling in the breezy spring night.
10) Spend quite a few quarters at the local arcade at the ghetto mall down the street.
I could go on and on, but I'll spare you. Overall, it was a great time... and I can't wait till we meet up again.
We went to the beach.. not as much as I would have liked... and we attempted to go to the zoo, but it was closed when we got there. So, Chuck E. Cheese's sufficed for the day. Even though we didn't get to do too much considering he was here for a lot longer than last time, every minute was still cherished. Even watching The Fantastic Adventures of Unico together was time well spent.
Oh yeah, and while he was here, Dave managed to score some of this:
He's been gone only a matter of 10 hours and I already miss him like hell. But eventually, he's gonna move down, so that's something to look forward to.
Among the things we DID get to do while he was here:
1) Hit the beach at 5 am with no one around but the twinkling stars, rogue planets and the sun rising on the waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
2) Sketch some drawings at the local IHOP at 4 am.
3) Dually "ruin" The Fantastic Adventures of Unico and The Crow: Salvation for each other.
4) Shave his head bald and take some disgusting but amusing pics of his scalp and the plunger.
5) Burrow through the pipes of the play area at Chuck E. Cheese's.
6) Delete the account of an unhappy forum member of the TMNT site.
7) Barbecue with my sisters and my future-brother-in-law.
8) Attempt to get a local curandera to help bring some clarity to Dave's life.
9) Watch the bats fly over the black waters of Lake Harlingen rippling in the breezy spring night.
10) Spend quite a few quarters at the local arcade at the ghetto mall down the street.
I could go on and on, but I'll spare you. Overall, it was a great time... and I can't wait till we meet up again.
Mikey was being stupid at 12:50 AM ::