Saturday, December 07, 2002 Last night, at around 2:30, I got this horrible pain in my stomach. I ended up throwing up about 5 times since then. I dunno if it's something I ate, but my aunt told me she had the same thing last week. She was feeling fine, then out of nowhere, she gets a cramped up stomach and starts puking. That's just what happened to me. I still had to come to work though, because we had some important things to get out of the way. But I still got here 45 minutes late, since I was busy wretching. I had planned to be on AIM tonight, answer some e-mail and message board posts, but I feel totally shitty (thank God I don't have the shits too!)... So I'm gonna go to my mom's, since she has central heating, and at least I'll be somewhat comfortable. Sets me back a bit on my to-do list though. Sorry. I know I haven't been around much lately, but it's been a crappy week. I managed to fix my glasses last night, so at least I don't have to put up with my eyes feeling like they are going to fall out. Anyway, I may post a little more here tonight. You'll notice that there's another post below from Friday morning (which was actually late Thursday night)... Yeah, I was in a funk when I wrote that, and I debated whether or not to post it. But it was something I figured I should get off my chest, so there it is. You may notice that my comments links don't always work... That's enetations' fault. So if you'd like to comment on something I've posted, you can either wait till the comments are back up, or you can e-mail me. Thanks for your interest. I'm off to puke some more.... Mikey was being stupid at 10:22 PM ::   ......... Friday, December 06, 2002 Noticeably, I've been gone for the past few days.... I haven't been home since Monday. Don't worry about Lily; my mom and dad fed her while I was away. Ironically, I was at their house the entire time. I really don't know what to say. I ended up getting preoccupied with a million things. I've sort of felt like shit the entire time too. Wracked with tension, stress, headaches, and even guilt. ::off topic:: What the hell is this bitch doing on two talk shows in one night... on the same network... "Love" was on Letterman and now she's on Craig Kilbourne? bleh. Can't stand the chick. ::/off topic:: Anyway, while I was gone, I had the opportunity to get some advice from a couple of the people I love and trust dearly... Stephen and Vanessa were able to calm me a bit; listen to my problems... and help me understand some feelings I had going on. These feelings that have persisted non-stop for the last three weeks. The feelings themselves don't confuse, hurt, or worry me. It's the likely consequences of these feelings... the heartbreak that it might cause in everyone involved... I am very much in love at the moment (I won't mention who it is out of respect for privacy). I want nothing more than to show this person exactly how much I'm in love. I would go to the ends of the earth... I would lie, cheat, and steal... I'd die just to prove how much in love I am. Unfortunately, this is the wrong way to go. I hate it, but in my heart, I know it's true. Isn't it? I never believed in true love. I never believed in "the one" ... "my other half" ... Love would come to me if at all... I wouldn't have to go out and find it for myself. I've never gone looking for love. When you've never been in love, it's easy to dismiss this all as fodder... created in fairytales, nurtured by the media. Then it happens. You, yourself, fall victim to it. And your enchanted. When this happens, you get that glazed over look... you stop seeing straight. If it doesn't resemble the one you've fallen for, then you've lost all recognition of it. You end up making decisions that could hurt everyone in the long run. You think of the wonderful times you'll have together, and fuck everyone else... as long as you have each other... it'll all be all right. Right? Yeah, it'll all be all right... then you have that thought in the back of your mind... The one that tells you that you don't have a fucking clue as to what's going to happen. How you or your lover will handle things when they aren't going so well. It's not always easy... I understand that. I hate it, but I get it.... In the most sane of relationships, this bumpy road is the most predictable of all its aspects. Then what's my problem? I know there will be good times, and I know there will be bad times... I know that there will be infinite love shared between the two of us. What is the fucking problem? .... Well, what if the bad times considerably outnumber the good? What if it's one or two days out of the week where everything is great... the next five, we are struggling to keep a grip on life? "What if," huh? ... I guess I'll just take it day by day.... Good days and bad days will happen. We'll cross those bridges when we get there. So fucking cliche right? But that's the way it is. So I'll go on feeling the love, and keeping it close to my heart always. No matter what happens, I'll have it inside me, and I'll always remember how it feels. Makes me feel real... and that makes me happy. Mikey was being stupid at 12:10 AM ::   ......... Monday, December 02, 2002 "My dime sized hole is bloody and there's a bone pushing thru it!!!" Has anyone seen "THEY" .... Some friends and I went to see it last Wednesday. I really wasn't expecting much, but my friends seemed to think it would be totally scary. I noticed that they jumped and screamed in all the right places, but it was just a bit too corny. Afterwards, it was a non-stop ultimate.... cracking jokes about the movie, talking about dime sized holes, screeching "I'm heeeerrrreee!!!" ........ hahaha... sorry, I was just recalling the whole thing. So funny. Mikey was being stupid at 7:00 PM ::   ......... I've added the photos from Thanksgiving at my aunt's house. Pretty accurate presentation of what went on the whole time I was there... right down to my parents being bored out of their skulls and my dad falling asleep. Hope you enjoy them. Mikey was being stupid at 6:24 PM ::   ......... Sunday, December 01, 2002 Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone... and now it's December. Everything immediately went into Christmas mode so fast. I'll be posting pics of Thanksgiving soon. But for now, I'll just have to tell you about it. Wednesday night, I arrived at my mom's house very late. After I made up the couch to sleep on, I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and noticed the scale was there. So I decided to weigh myself before I overstuffed myself on turkey. Ok, I weighed 140 lbs. That's good... I usually float between 135 and 145... On average I'm usually 137. So, I lay down on the couch and attempt to sleep... It seemed about two minutes passed by and I open my eyes. My dad's running thru the house... Literally. He's running from the front door to the back door to the front door again. Ignoring the fact that I'm trying to sleep, his keys clanging on the belt loop of his pants. I shove the pillow over my head and attempt to sleep more. Then a few minutes later, my mom comes in... "Ohhh... It's Michael... he's here!!" Then she starts talking to me. I just groan under the pillow and roll over... she ignores this and keeps on talking. So, I get up at about 11:30... My friend wants me to record the Buffy marathon for him on FX because he doesn't have cable... he says it starts at 12, so I get everything ready to record... And I see that they are already halfway into the first episode.... someone needs to learn his time zones. Ahem. So, I get ready and we head over to my aunt's house for lunch. It was pretty weird at first. It was me, my parents, my sisters and my brother-in-law-to-be having lunch with my aunt's family and her in-laws. Her kids are the closest thing to kids of my own, so I'm pretty comfortable with that. But the in-laws are just weird... and scary. Just before we sat down to eat, we prepare to say grace in a prayer circle... Something the people in the other family didn't exactly rush to join. So the matriarch of the family bellows out, "GET OVER HERE AND PRAY NOW!!!" ... scary, yet pretty tame considering she's got a mouth like a sailor. But overall, the food they prepared was great. I had three helpings of everything (but yams, wild rice and green bean casserole... don't like that stuff). At 3:30, I took my leave and arrived at work... Here, I'm thinking that I'll be out by 9 pm at the latest. The guy I work with (who works on Thanksgiving usually) told me the day before that they never get out late... Always out of here before 10. So, I made plans with some friends for afterwards. I was invited to my buddy's mom's house to have more turkey dinner, and they said to go on over after work. When 9 pm rolled around, one of the copy editors asked me if I was going to dinner. I told her I was still a little full from lunch and that I was invited to my friends' after work. "Does your friend know that you're getting out of here at 12?" !!!!!! So, I had to stay a full day of work. Shitty overall: 1. I never come into work before 6 on Thursdays... I came in at 3:30 because I thought we had early deadline. 2. Again, thinking there was early deadline, I didn't take my dinner break. 3. No one ever gives me anything straight here..... Apparently, they had early deadline on Wednesday. Why, now? It makes no sense. Early deadline so the workers could get home early on the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING??? Whaaaat??? Anyway, my friends were still up when I left work. Mrs. Sanchez warmed up the turkey dinner and TONS of side dishes... I pigged out again with two more helpings... After finishing a slice of pumpkin cheese cake, I hobbled over to the scale, looked at it ominously, and stepped on...... 150????? I ACTUALLY GAINED 10 POUNDS?? Vanessa commented that on average, people weigh somewhere between 5 and 7 lbs more at night. I dunno if it's true, but Friday morning I weighed myself again, and I'd shed about that much, and gone down to 143. But the food was well worth it... And although I'll be eating Turkey for the next month or so, I'll do so happily cuz I can never get enough. Mikey was being stupid at 6:15 PM ::   .........