..stupid ideals..

I can't seem to get rid of this damned stupid cough... It's been like weeks since I got it, and I'm still sputtering all the time. Bleh! It's been a few days since I posted in this journal, but really there hasn't been too much going on...

Well, more work complaining... As I reported last week, there are some pretty rude people who work here. I mean, there are several who are pretty nice and friendly, and they are always a pleasure to talk to, but for the most part these people I work with are assholes. It so happens that a couple of days after I last posted here, I stayed till very late (after 3 am) to finish up some projects. After I was done, I decided to look through the paper... Since it was so late, we had already been given our copies for the next day. We have this thing called the "Editorial Forum" ... We use it to communicate goings on in the newsroom. Our editors also use it to critique the newspaper daily. Well, after looking through my copy of the paper, I was decided to look at the one from the previous morning. This paper was totally superior to the copy I got at home... which was full of printing errors and missing pages, horrible misregistration. It was bad. But the office copy had to be the best damn copy available. This is not good... we are supposed to get "spoils" here for ourselves, and the NICE papers are supposed to be sent to the consumers.

I decided to send an email to the editorial forum discussing this... and how such a thing could happen. Well, I was completely ignored, and when I commented about an obituary name that was misspelled thrice, I was told by a couple of people that they "don't like changing things like that because people pay for that space and if we correct it, it could end up costing them more" ... Hmm... how would YOU feel if you dead mother's name was spelled four different ways, only one of which was correct? You'd expect these people to have more courtesy. Yet I was still shot down for my comment. The same thing has happened with other things that I post. Most recently, I suggested two story ideas... both intensely local and interesting to ordinary people... I was given absolutely no feedback on it, yet several days later, these two stories were written and printed, with much praises being sung to the journalist... not one comment about how I brought it to their attention.

Well, it's gotten to the point that I just ignore that forum... The bosses want everyone to participate, but why should I if I'm being ignored, right? So there.... gotta work now.

What are the chances that the two daily Texas Pick 3 lotteries have the same numbers: 2-0-9 and 0-9-2... well, pretty good... i guess cuz it just happened.

Remind me to continue disliking my co-workers who are journalists. They are infinately rude. Here I am, sitting all by myself in the newsroom at 12:45 am, working on my usual stuff... In pops one of our reporters. Minutes before, as I read a story that was being posted on the website, I was thinking to myself "This guy gets all the interesting stories. He must be pretty good." Well, I guess too good to acknowledge a co-worker. He came in to fill out his time sheet, yet in the 15 minutes he was here... in the newsroom... in my presence... he did not say a word to me. Well, of course, I didn't acknowledge him either, BUT this guy always seems to give me the cold shoulder. Same with the rest of our news reporters. I've even noticed that when they want a graphic assignment done, they go to the other graphics guy -- not me!! Well, just because he has the title of Graphics EDITOR and I am only a Graphics ARTIST, I guess I don't count that much, eh? Ahh well... It's a lost cause, and there's nothing I would be interested in speaking to them about anyway.

Also, one of our photographers quit yesterday... He missed an assignment and while the eds were debating whether or not to fire him (he'd already racked up a few bad marks), he called in and said that he "FUCKING QUIT!" So, they told him to turn in all his equipment, and take all his shit home... hahaha... and they changed the CODE on the door! (Of course they did this without informing me... so here I was like an idiot entering the wrong code). Anyway, the rest of the crew were gabbing about his eventual replacement tonight here in my cubicle (yes, it seems to be the local hangout of the newsroom). Apparently, they want to hire a photographer from a sister newspaper a couple of towns over. Yes, he's a great photog... But this is really getting out of hand. After our editor-in-chief quit, they hired the Herald's editor. When our head copy editor quit, we got the one from the Herald. When our Night City Editor demoted herself back to reporter, we got our replacement from ... the Herald. When they fired our Features Editor, they replaced him with the one from ... you guessed it, The Herald. We should just change our name from the Valley Morning Star to the Valley Morning Herald... i swear.

Something else that got me down tonight.... I can't believe I found this out from a frickin' news article... two of my good friends from high school -- who, even though I've sort of lost touch with, still consider my friends -- have decided that they will not return to the Rio Grande Valley. Zainab, who was our class valedictorian and is graduating this spring from Stanford, wants to stay in the SF Bay Area, though she really thinks she should move to New York to become a book publisher. My other good friend Magda, who was third in our class, is graduating from Harvard, but will more than likely stay in the New England area. She says she's grown appreciative of the fast-paced life there... and admittedly, life here in the Valley is boring and slow as shit.

But really, that's not what makes me sad... It makes me sad that I didn't apply myself nearly as hard as I should of in high school. I was in the same classes and took the same electives as these two students, yet somehow I managed to rank 153 of 465 in my class. For godsakes, I didn't even take the SAT. Sure, I finished college two years before my class did, and I even got a 3.6 gpa. But, what was it... local community college/technical school. I lack so much education because I thought tech school would prepare me enough for the field I wanted to go into. Now, I crave more. I really admire these young ladies for getting the hell out of here and seeing the world and learning all about it... but I envy them too. Because unless I do something very drastic, I'll live out the rest of my mundane existance on an endless loop... work-eat-sleep work-eat-sleep work-eat-sleep... god help me...