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–>> Kirby told Donatello that “Life at best is bitter-sweet.” I wasn’t always so sure i’d agreed with that as it seemed a bit cliche. But well in light of the ramifications of what happened the past few weeks .. Kirby may have had a point.
The flip side to last month’s “NICK TMNT Fan Event” is that inevitably some fans were gona be cut, cut-out, cut-off, rejected, or overlooked all together. Even well noted fans within’ the community.
I really do try to avoid these crazy “self-defensive”/”self-loathing” rants anymore, but what’s a snapper to do to get some perspective ??
But before selfish, stupid, & myopic Tokka thinks he’s all alone in this – he’s gotta remember “HE ISN’T”.
Though, if what had transpired last month had been an isolated incident, i suppose i’d have been able to get over it within’ a relatively short amount of time and keep trucking along in traditional “TOKKA-TURTLE” craziness. And to my own defense, i handle this type of rejection better than i used too. I gotta try to keep a balanced perspective every year as me and my work get’s shunned and shot down by many to hundreds of companies & galleries all the time anymore.

Please forgive me, seriously if i’m a little numb at this point. I honestly want to be positive and thrilled about the prospect of the new animated Turtle show,ect. – but after the umpteenth time of this type of thing happening ..it was a real kick in the face in spite of all the hard work i’ve done for so long now.
If it wasn’t Viacom it was the C.B.C in Canada, Warner Bros., Ubisoft, The TMNT Documentary, even Mirage itself at some point. If it came to anything TMNT – work, fan input or otherwise.. i ALWAYS got left out.
Graciously Mirage, at least on the job front would lend me some very much needed freelance in the final days before the buyout. And i busted my ass for them. So i have worked on TMNT in some form – Officially, fulfilling a longtime dream. Even if in a limited capacity.

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** View LARGE On Black **

Time has gone on and it’s been over a year since the buyout – i’ve kept with the fandom and my ever bumbling career the best i can since. At this point too – i’ve been doing TMNT fandom work and news aggregation for over a decade. It’s incredibly hard work and has taken it’s toll. The very fragile line of doing all the TMNT work has often interceded my own personal work so it’s always been a very difficult balance.
I have chosen this, though. And the great gratification one gets with sharing your passion comes with the greater satisfaction of seeing your passion evolve. And when you see it grow into a literal “CULTURAL” icon- it becomes easier to deal with those that have always scoffed at TMNT as just some passing phase from the ’90s or something.
Hell, i heard it all the time when i was a shaky-nervous wreck of an artist in cartooning school as a kid.
But,no these boys have grown up and have become an important staple in the pop-culture landscape as i always knew they were even back in the ’90s. And overall i’ve seen it effect so many diverse peoples’ lives of all ages in so many positive ways – overall i am very proud of the work i’ve done. i am happy for those who can benefit and learn from it, and i think i’ve proven beyond anything ..even to myself just how special and imperative this “Turtlemania” truly is.

The Green Teens’ve grown, we’ve grown with them – we’ve evolved ( or is that ‘mutated ? – my father might say the later in my case ). We’ve been damn lucky, as generations are now enjoying things that made the franchise so endearing and impacting to so many.
Kevin’ n’ Pete’s brain children – along with the help of all the Mirage alumni : be it Ryan, Murphy, the Lavignes, Jim L., Dooney,Tristan, Bissette, Ross May, Jake Black, Fernando, Ponce, Diego J., Dario, Allan, Berger, Talbot, Farley, the Bodes, – -the list goes on forever .. have become a darn institution in not just the pop-culture cabal, but the WORLD !! !! wtf !? Wow!! !!
How the #%*$ can one not be proud to be part of that ?!

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** View LARGE On Black **

( What’s a “TOKKA”-Dave ?! )
Whatever the case may be – these people at the agency came to me.. i did not come to the to them with an “INVITE”. Their words not mine. They also came to me through the shambles of my eroding carcass of my **own personal t2z website which is embarrassing but incredibly flattering.
Before someone comes back all “Kirby” on me and smothers me with cliches and things for a *#¢$%’n second or at any point thinks i’m ungrateful for a split second – i am gonna scream !!
After they contacted me, and grilled me – for a whole week i was cautiously optimistic and happy. I was getting ready for my own solo art-show on top of that so things, for once seemed to be at least “ok” on the darker side of the junkyard. I’m not always known for my cheerier disposition. And i’m not proud of that.
I don’t care how “unfair life is – get used to it , Tokka” – “Or – Bummer,Dude but it ain’t the end of the world “.. , ladee frickin’da. I ‘m well aware of the plights of so many others around me, again i’m grateful. My issues are still my issues – i have to deal with ‘em 24/7. That only makes me even more sensitive to the hardships of the world. So getting this rejection, the seemingly 1000th time it’s happened wasn’t “ok”.
Trivial as it may be for some, this event was really important to me .. and the toll on my psyche and subsequent meltdown even nearly cost me my show.


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** View LARGE On Black **

..But these are how things go in the junkyard i guess. So dragging on the griping isn’t gonna help worth squat. I argued my point, tactfully as i could as to why i though they were wrong to exclude me and had gotten various pieces of advice, support, and encouragement from many and, friends, and mentors involved with TMNT over the years and even the new show itself to help me keep a level head as i could. I’ve even made amends personally, best i could with the “Pitch Agency” . I’d like to thank Philip Ross specifically for helping me put my mind at ease.
At this point the blame is really nowhere to be laid at anyone. It’s “just what happened”. I’m not and was not EVER upset at my friends who got to go to this thing. In fact i was very happy for them. They really deserved it. I’m even exceptionally in gratitude for them, because many of them really spoke up for me to Nick and were rooting for me the whole time.
So the issues i had had nothing to with those in attendance to the Nick Event.
I’m very thankful to EVERYONE for their support and insight regarding what happened. I’m also very sorry for those that had been through similar effects like i had been or who were overlooked entirely.

So i guess, somewhere up there .. Kirby and his Warrior buddies are all laughing at me in that otherworldly dimension.
Kirby in part was right.
But this event has proven one thing ..
there are those of us out there that really are the TMNT UNDERDOGS.
We’re deserving as much of Ninja Turtle tidings as anyone else, we’re as hardcore of Turtle fans as anyone else.
We may not have the biggest collections, the most random of mania and knowledge regarding the green guys, we may not have the biggest websites and our presence is so diverse – too diverse that it’d even make Kirby’s head spin. ::
We underdogs aren’t any less passionate about TMNT, it’s creators, characters, and their stories than anyone else. Even when the odds are stacked against us. We’re a very important part of this community and we can show others how it becomes more than just a fandom, but TMNT becomes a part of every single day; a way of life.
I cannot say it’s making me a posterboy for this, or that i’m any more deserving for anyone else, or that i can make it my plight to shine light on this. It’s something that’s bigger than me.. and even us crazy Snappers – as much as we’d like to fix the world, sometimes we just can’t no matter how hard we try.
I guess that doesn’t mean we stop trying tho’.
But whatever, Tokka’s still here – and maybe our times will come. s underdogs will shine.
Gee, maybe now i’m the one deluding myself in cliches. Hm – i duno.


Anyway, that’s what i’ve got to say regarding the recent transpirations.
Now excuse me while i go brood and perspirate and regress into the junkyard. There’s a pile of “sittin’ – tires” with my name on ‘em just watin’ for me to set my spiky toosh on while a pout, ponder, and cry a river of regret and shame. Hm- i’m kinda hungry and they look like donuts, so i may as well gnaw on a couple of em while i’m back there.

Yep, just call me “Peerless”.
~ t